All roads lead back to the mission

Yesterday I borrowed my roommate's bike to cycle to an interview about 15 blocks away. Even though I was in a skirt and had on nice shoes, I felt liberated and happy. Probably because it reminded me so much of my mission. 


This was me, approximately 2 years ago, near the end of my mission.

Yes I know- not very flattering. I was fat, make-up smudged, sweaty... But, who cared?! I was there to work! This picture was taken the last night of my mission. Vegas (my bike) and I had roughed it out for almost 15 months together. We've been through two mini-accidents, one complete makeover (yellow and red to blue and orange), conquered a mountain, and traveled marathon miles of rough road biking. I miss my bike! 


But the best thing about my mission is summed up very nicely by C.S. Lewis.

"Give me all of you!!! I don’t want so much of your time, so much of your talents and money, and so much of your work. I want YOU!!! ALL OF YOU!! I have not come to torment or frustrate the natural man or woman, but to KILL IT! No half measures will do. I don’t want to only prune a branch here and a branch there; rather I want the whole tree out! Hand it over to me, the whole outfit, all of your desires, all of your wants and wishes and dreams. Turn them ALL over to me, give yourself to me and I will make of you a new self---in my image. Give me yourself and in exchange I will give you Myself. My will, shall become your will. My heart, shall become your heart." 

— C.S. Lewis (Mere Christianity)


This reminds me of the story of President Hugh B. Brown, as quoted by Elder Christofferson.

But even though he was fully qualified for the promotion, it was denied him because he was a Mormon. The commanding general said in essence, “You deserve the appointment, but I cannot give it to you.” What President Brown had spent 10 years hoping, praying, and preparing for slipped through his fingers in that moment because of blatant discrimination. Continuing his story, President Brown remembered:

“I got on the train and started back … with a broken heart, with bitterness in my soul. … When I got to my tent, … I threw my cap on the cot. I clenched my fists, and I shook them at heaven. I said, ‘How could you do this to me, God? I have done everything I could do to measure up. There is nothing that I could have done—that I should have done—that I haven’t done. How could you do this to me?’ I was as bitter as gall.

“And then I heard a voice, and I recognized the tone of this voice. It was my own voice, and the voice said, ‘I am the gardener here. I know what I want you to do.’ The bitterness went out of my soul, and I fell on my knees by the cot to ask forgiveness for my ungratefulness. …

“… And now, almost 50 years later, I look up to [God] and say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for cutting me down, for loving me enough to hurt me.’” ⁵

God knew what Hugh B. Brown was to become and what was needed for that to happen, and He redirected his course to prepare him for the holy apostleship.

It is hard, isn't it? Yes, but God is the Gardener, and I am so grateful for that.