All about boys...

And I think the situation gets more complex the older we get. Sadly.

What am I rambling about?

BOYS of course.
THE subject that is so irritating and ye inevitable.
What I mean is, everyone has been asking me, "Hey, so... how about Charles? Or John? Or... Andrew?" And my sister just told me that people ARE talking especially about me and C, since, you know, we served the same mission...
Just great.
Alright, I'm totally fine with people attempting to match-make us. I mean, no use getting upset right? For what? Just laugh along with them! It is however getting to the point where it's over done and I'm getting sick of it.
"Go to BYU and things can progress there between the both of you"- trying to push me to whichever boy will be willing to help us become the "both" referred here.
Just get off my back please! My future boyfriend is not some, oh-I-can't-have-him-so-let's-try-it-with-another-one. Yeah, dating sure is something like that, but not marriage.
And things don't just happen because we are in BYU. If things are suppose to happen, it will. Now. It doesn't need to move to another country to start the ball rolling.

Look, I do want to get married. I do want to date, and be courted and have a boyfriend and be romanced and whatever exciting things are associated along with it. Which female at my age doesn't? Especially one who is a return missionary, and knows that the next step is not even education- it's marriage. And who will be going back to BYU where the average age of girls marrying there is um, oops sorry! I'm 4 years too old above the average age. Talk about PRESSURE & FEELING OLD.
Also, since coming home, my perspective on relationships has also matured and changed, and I sort-of have a firmer idea of what I want in my man and what I want from life.
And it's not all found in C, J or A. Or so far, anyone else I've met.
The plain honest truth is-

(Unfortunately or not) I'm simply not attracted to them.

Are they good looking? YES. Are they nice people? YES. Are they cool friends to have? YES.
Are they good husband material? YES.
Does that make them good husband potentials for me? YES.
Will I go on dates if they ask me to? YES.
Am I attracted to them? No- only like, 5%. At least with Rendy whom I can comfortably have a conversation with hence I'm attracted to him like, 15% (yes yes I know he's taken, don't worry). Can you imagine with the other guys whom I'm not even like, super comfortable talking to?

I'm not saying that me with any one these good guys is impossible. If Michael Jackson can even think about doing a come-back concert, then anything is possible. Even me eventually falling in love and marrying one of them. I'm not going to be so closed minded that I won't even consider going out on dates with them.
But it's going to take a lot more than what I've come to see in them now to get me to eventually fall in love with them. And I'm sure they are thinking the same thing about me as well.

And just in case you couldn't follow that train of thought- it's okay. You'll get it.
Eventually.